It is often noticed, especially in a couple, that the dog listens more to one of the two partners than the other. If this is your case, then this article is for you! Let's review some causes and see how it would be interesting to react to them.

The dog learned more from one than the other.

Sometimes it happens that we use the same word to ask our dog something, but one person will be listened to while the other will not... You have certainly already experienced this situation! You call your dog, but he does not come! Your partner calls him and hop!... there he comes running! Frustrating you say?! Clearly!

What you have to understand is that the dog relies much more on the characteristics of a person to listen to the word learned. He does not rely on the word itself! When the dog listens only to the person who taught him, then it is because he has become accustomed to a host of details specific to the person: the position of the body, the distance from the dog at the time of the request, the gesture made, the moment when the gesture is made, the intonation, the speed of speech, the volume, etc. These are all little things that the dog uses to listen. So the partner who does not do all these little things adequately will not be listened to.

However, when there is a clear difference, you may have to suspect that the dog may not have learned the word in the right way. Mistakes in your teaching, at the beginning, may have caused him to focus on the wrong elements to listen to you. If it depends on where you are, what you are doing, how you say it... If there are often "it depends". If your dog comes back "but it depends" on this or that condition, then it is probably normal that your partner is even less successful than you. You manage, according to circumstances x and y, to make yourself understood. This is different from learning to make a word listened to over the long term despite the conditions.

If you used a learning process knowing what you were doing and you are confident that you did a good job, then you can look into the other common causes presented in this article.

Learn something new

Having your dog learn a new "command" from the person who is never listened to, no matter which one, even "give paw", will require him to adapt to her; and she will also adapt to him. He will learn that listening to you is rewarding. If you are the person your dog listens to, what often solves the problem is showing your partner how you taught your dog something. In this learning context, the partner has the opportunity to quietly observe important things.

How do you reward your pet, what do you expect from him, what do you consider "perfect" or "less successful", etc.? And your partner reproduces what he or she has observed. This is the perfect opportunity to tell him or her "don't forget to do this gesture" or to correct the gesture made or something else. This is really the best way to do it.

Often, when a dog only listens to one person in the couple he lives with, it is the person who taught him everything. To listen, the dog relies on details specific to the person. However, if it depends too much on certain conditions, the dog may not have "learned" anything, strictly speaking.

Cause of complicity

What we call "complicity" between a person and a dog comes from different things, not just "who feeds him". When a dog spends significantly more time with one person in the couple, a whole dynamic is created, based on verbal and non-verbal language for the person. And the dog then has reference points that tell him what to do, just by observing the person who always does the same things at the same times without necessarily realizing it, who also rewards behaviors involuntarily (example: laughing at certain things).

The spouse who is not listened to may feel that it is a lost cause since he or she cannot spend as much time with the dog. But there is an effective way to "fix" this.

The spouse who is not listened to may have the "privilege" of the best game. Even if he or she spends less time with the dog, this time becomes very high quality for the latter. Quite often, the spouse who spends the least time with the dog does not do much interesting (for the dog) when he or she is there, because there is nothing more to do (eating is done, walking is done, playing ball is done ...), or we have this impression. The good thing about play is that! It allows us to create a bond very quickly.

More meticulous behaviors

Sometimes, when a dog clearly listens more to one person in the couple he lives with, while both people are almost equally involved, it is enough for one of the two partners to be more meticulous in his behavior with the dog for him to be listened to better.

There are many other examples to give. Some will quite naturally be more meticulous, it makes them more "readable" for the dog. That said, those who are less so can quite easily progress in this area. These are mainly things that can be learned. Very concrete things can be worked on over time.

Also, if your spouse seems to have a "feeling" that you don't have with your dog, remember that a dog does not have the same relationship with everyone in the same household. It is better not to take one bond as a model and invent your own relationship with the dog!

With the same dog, each person will have a unique relationship. A dog does not bring exactly the same things to all of us. Each person also brings different things to the dog.

Man seems to "naturally" make himself obeyed

Stereotype… but it applies

Sometimes the dog behaves more "wisely" in the presence of one or the other of the partners or listens more to the latter. For example, he jumps on one and never on the other; he only pulls on the leash with one of the two.

In cases where the man seems to be quite clearly playing the role of the "authoritarian parent", while he does not scold more, does not punish more and would not hurt a fly, there are two main factors that can explain some of the dog's behaviors; some men combine the two and can naturally appear more intimidating.

Be careful! This also depends on the dog itself, especially its socialization with humans when it was young and even possibly before joining you.

We could probably study other factors that contribute to this intimidation, sometimes quite unintentional, more cultural factors, behavioral differences between men and women, but it will become too complicated. Let's stick to genetic parameters. Energy Having the right energy (the one the dog needs to learn and then listen on a daily basis) allows you to be better listened to. To put it simply, more distracted and slow dogs need a more "dynamic" person; dogs overflowing with energy have difficulty learning if you are overflowing with energy yourself. So, in a couple, sometimes it is enough for one to have the energy that matches the dog's energy, and the other not, for there to be an "imbalance".

Recapitulation

Usually, when a dog listens better to one person in a relationship, either he learned everything from that person or he spends a lot more time with them. Combine the two and you get an "excluded" partner. Of course, some exclude themselves and sometimes, things are clear from the start, only one of the two wanted a dog!

In some couples, one person is more meticulous than the other. This may be partly natural; it is the personality, the character, the fact of feeling closer to the animals… but it is rarely only that. The person is often better informed, is more aware of dog training techniques or is more aware of what he is doing, has already identified why sometimes requests are not listened to, has taken the time to study details, takes the time to observe, to analyze, realizes certain errors… So we can also remedy this problem.

In couples where the man seems to "naturally" make himself obeyed better, it is not uncommon for the man to be just more intimidating, but it also depends on whether the dog is intimidated (it does not have the same effect on all dogs).

Finally, energy is one of the most important characteristics of a dog. Energy makes dogs very different from each other, from "cool" dogs to "crazy" dogs.

Sometimes, in a couple, one of the two partners just naturally has the right energy with their dog. They are listened to more because they are calmer or on the contrary, you have to be more dynamic with this dog. Again, the one who is not listened to can adapt; lots of people have to work on this aspect and manage to make great progress.

There may be other reasons, but if your dog only listens to you or your spouse, chances are one or more of these causes need to be investigated; they are certainly the most common.

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